The Story of the Miracle Of The Cheese: It was late at night at Bowerville, post-jam, circa 3:00am. We had only one snack to provide to the guests that night, due to oversights that resulted in severe under-preparation. (These Hog jams can come together quite spontaneously sometimes.) So all we had to feed the masses was one lousy pork roast, still in the dutch oven, sitting on the stove. The Hogs of Bowerville had been grabbing chunks out of the pan with their fingers all night, in light of the fact that having this much fun with this little in the way of provisions requires one to keep things simple and conserve energy, out of necessity.
Pete was at about half mast on the couch, rolling a joint on his banjo head, and Buck was in the kitchen, leaning over the pork. Pete called out, “Hey Buck, how’s that pork?” And lo! Buck turned towards the living room, smiling, and held up a piece of CHEESE! It was immediately acknowledged by all that what we were witnessing was no less than a MIRACLE (because there really was NOTHING else to eat in the house, other than the much picked over pork roast). And because there were at least 3 people present to witness the miracle, the Pope announced that, by the power vested in him by Pork and by Cheese, having performed the miracle of turning Pork into Cheese, that Uncle Buck was granted Sainthood. Henceforth, Uncle Buck would be referred to as Buck, Patron Saint of Cheese. That, my friends, is what is today known as THE MIRACLE OF THE CHEESE. When asked to comment about his newly anointed sainthood, St Buck had this to say: “I’m the head cheese.”
In a vey timely and orderly fashion, the Pope went about appointing cabinet members to his order. The chosen department heads are as follows: Ryan Bowers: Filing Cabinet, Jason Norris: Liquor Cabinet, Stella Lyn Norris: Medicine Cabinet, Mike Mickelson: Davy Jones Locker, and Nokosee Fields: Altered Boy. There has recently been much discussion about who, in the Papacy of Pete, is actually responsible for the weather/meteorlogical events. The country is divided: Some say St Buck, because he is older and lives closer to the weather, some say Jason, because he studies it all day in order to fly safely through it. It is possible that there may be an uprising if this institution is allowed to go forward for much longer without proper leadership, and many feel that in light of the current climate crisis, it is highly irresponsible to have so little clarity about this matter at such times. There is civil unrest, and a town hall meeting is being scheduled to address this schism.
The Second Coming of the Cheese.
Few people know about this event, which occurred outdoors late at night under the midnight sun. Jason and Stella and Pete were jamming on the porch, sipping their beverages. Pete finished a tune, and looking over, Stella noticed him nibbling of a piece of cheese which had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. When questioned about the event, and the Miraculous manifestation, Pete declared that one minute he had been sitting there, and the next, there on the deck railing was a small piece of cheese. It has a beam of light shining down on it, which was plain to see. Pete also claimed he saw a bit of smoke when it appeared, but without more witnesses to account for what happened, it is yet unclear as to the actual origin of the smoke. Divine? Perhaps, or……more easily explained?